Open away from face test

An all-American Japanese-made baseball bat.

Overwhelmed by the knowledge of the eventual heat-death of the universe?
Do you curl up into a ball at night and cry yourself to sleep?
Do you wish you could curl up just a bit more and roll around like a pinball?

Boy howdy, I got something for you! This!

Annoy your friends by playing that one windmill song over and over and over and over and over and over

and over

(1)

It's like a gun and a grappling hook combined! What's not to love?

We are not responsible if you shoot your brother in the eye with it, but that totally is his weak point.

To be honest I spray-painted a Chinese knock off palm pilot red.