Authentic Russian Tetromino

Is very good, comrade.

Physical proof that you beat children.

Buy today!

Open away from face test

Annoy your friends by playing that one windmill song over and over and over and over and over and over

and over

(1)

A barrel. 50% chance it has a full grown gorilla or monkey inside.

No guarantees on the state of the contained simian.

Grombo pombo tombo lombo

To be honest I spray-painted a Chinese knock off palm pilot red.

Turns your Pikachu into something you don't even recognize any more and you wish you could go back but you can't - this is the world you live in now and you have to accept the consequences of your actions and live with the pain of knowing that your own ignorance has ruined at least one life.

You could probably throw it through a window or something too.

A parasitic flying alien bug.

Buy one and keep it as a pet. What could go wrong?

A magic triangle made of triangles that grants your wish.

It's up to you whether you want to wish for more wishes or more Triforces.